Do… or do not. There is no try

do-or-do-not-there-is-no-try-1

Do… or do not. There is no try. ~ Yoda

A philosophical blogging challenge wouldn’t be complete without Master Yoda.

Especially when he is right. While I do also think that “you’ve already failed if you fail to try” I believe that Master Yoda was talking about having the right attitude. His apprentice, Luke, was young in the ways of The Force and didn’t believe in himself very much. He didn’t have the right attitude.

The many, many times I failed at quitting drinking, giving it up for a while, or even cutting back on the number of drinks, it was because I didn’t have the right attitude. I thought, like most people, that managing alcohol consumption was all, and only, about will power. I thought something must’ve really been truly wrong with me that I couldn’t drink (and enjoy alcohol) the way my friends did. But it was never about will power. It was about good will.

While I’m not judging anyone or condemning their relationships with alcohol I am much wiser when it comes to myself now. I know that I used alcohol as a tool for escape. I used it to run away from dealing with my issues and of course, it never made anything any better.

The times I’d failed to quit I didn’t have the right attitude, about many things. I didn’t see my self, my life and everything I wanted to achieve as worth enough to change my behaviour for. I didn’t see what alcohol really meant for someone like me. I didn’t see that I had issues with self worth that were deep-rooted. I didn’t believe that I could change them. I didn’t think I needed help.

The big difference this time, and in less than a month I will celebrate my second soberversary, is that I have the right attitude. While I will never underestimate alcohol again, I know I never drink again. I know I am worth it. I know I can do this. For me, there is no try.

~*~

On February 6th 2014, four days after I stopped drinking alcohol, I started this blog. My two-year soberversary is fast approaching and my January posts, inspired by fictional philosophers who’ve inspired me with their bad-ass thoughts, is a way of celebrating my journey. I hope, in turn, to inspire you on yours.

Advertisements

2 comments

  1. I so relate to your statement ” thought, like most people, that managing alcohol consumption was all, and only, about will power.” Like you I failed repeatedly to stop, control, manage, reduce, etc. ad infinitum my drinking simply because I was always in the belief that I could safely drink again at some point. Once that delusion was taken away and the simple position of abstenance as a way forward presented I was reborn

  2. Yes, yes, I too was past the ‘There is no try’ time, I think one of my early posts actually had this vid in it with Yoda saying ‘there is no try. 🙂
    In the end I did not quit on will power, I think I quit on knowledge – but not sure yet. There was a Decission and then I started to fill that in with knowledge so I did not have to do it on will power. Quitting on will power totally s#cks btw: the drinking thoughts take the same track as will power and then walk into my brain saying ‘Hi, let’s get a beer!’ So that did not work. No, knowledge and determination were better for me. But maybe determination is powered by the will, not sure. It was important for me to know that I could not do it on will power. And yeah, obviously the booze desensitizing online course I did. I really think that helped a lot. Even if it were that I would, on a 2-5 daily base spend 20 to 40 minutes in front of the screen taking my addiction seriously and thinking I needed to work on it. Don’t know, but I actually think the course really did the trick because I have hardly ever been triggered by images of drinks. For me the concious idea of self worth began after learning to take care of me. For me that is the biggest thing: the learning to love me. 😦 Can’t even write about it without crying. 😦
    I am happy that you get to celebrate your 2nd soberversary soon. Thank you for walking this road before us/me and sharing your experience.
    xx, Feeling

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s